There had been signs. Juana Burns-Sperling—better known as MC JB of former Ruthless Records artists J.J. Fad—was at a party with a man who would eventually become her husband, when she decided she wanted to leave. He, however, wanted to stay. At this point, they’d been dating for about a year and she had no reason to expect what was coming next. Shortly after Burns-Sperling took off, she got a page from him that read simply, “1-8-7,” a not-so-veiled threat.
That was the first red flag that she admittedly ignored. After another year of dating, they wound up getting married when Burns-Sperling was 27.
“He was more in love with me than I was in love with him, but here’s the caveat,” she tells AllHipHop. “I had a daughter by him. When I got married, my daughter was two. I came from a Christian background and my standards and morals are so high. I saw my high school friends having four or five different baby daddies, and I knew that was not gonna be me.
“I told my mom, ‘I like him, but I’m not in love.’ But my mom, who was a devout Christian, said I’d grow to love him. I had a baby with this person, and I didn’t want to have another baby daddy, so I went into that marriage not being in love. I’m not gonna lie; I did sort of love him, especially since we had kids. The relationship did develop, but I definitely went into it the wrong way.”
As time went on, the mask slowly began to peel away and the verbal abuse started. There were physical encounters, too. For 22 years, Burns-Sperling held on to this secret, afraid it would affect her music career. But now, she’s finally speaking up and blossoming into an incredible advocate for domestic violence victims. She launched a website and is doing speaking engagements in an effort to shed light on the issue, an issue too many women have experienced.
“I did a little self-reflection just to see where my mental health was and if I was still harboring negative feelings,” she says of deciding to break her silence. “I was actually talking to one of my girlfriends and she’s like, ‘You need to talk about this. This was a secret for 22 years. You not talking about it is not helping you. You need to get it all out.’ I started talking about it more to personal friends and realized it felt good, and it was making me feel better.
“I thought if I could help someone avoid that before they even get into it, have them notice the red flags, be aware of what this person is saying and just recognize the things that aren’t right in the beginning instead of excusing them, then maybe I could help them avoid a lot of pain and problems.”
Back in the late ’80s and ’90s, Burns-Sperling was crushing it as a member of J.J. Fad. The title track of their 1988 Ruthless Records debut, Supersonic, was massive and earned the group their first Grammy Award nomination. In fact, it was the first time a female Hip-Hop group had ever been given the honor. Their sophomore album, Not Just A Fad, arrived in 1990, and the trio continued touring. But it kept Burns-Sperling quiet about what was happening at home.
“I never said anything about the abuse because I was in J.J. Fad, and I didn’t want people to think, ‘Oh, she’s weak’ or ‘She’s in J.J. Fad. Why would she even put up with that?’ I was afraid of the backlash, which is really sad because I shouldn’t have been afraid of what people would think, but I was because I was in the public eye. When you’re in the public eye and you’re an artist, people think you’re invincible.
“People think you’re stronger than what you are. People think that you can walk away from anything with no problem because you’re in J.J. Fad. They don’t know the ins and outs. They don’t know that I have four beautiful kids that have the same dad. Who am I to leave that person and leave them without a dad? All the things that are intertwined in that relationship of 22 years. It’s not that easy just to walk out the door.”
Anyone who’s experienced any type of abuse in a romantic relationship knows how it destroys someone’s self-esteem to the point where it feels almost impossible to leave. Despite her level of notoriety, Sperling’s experience was no different. She adds, “The belittling and the calling you names and the ‘You’re nothing without me’ and ‘Nobody’s gonna want you’ comments, the more you hear that, the more you start to believe it.”
Burns-Sperling would often wish for a way to somehow be able to escape the cycle. She never imagined he would leave her.
“I bit the bullet and stayed for decades,” she says. “I would have been with that man until this day if he didn’t find another woman and file for divorce. But I prayed. I was like, ‘God, you got to get me out of this. Whatever you got to do, Lord, please help me get out of this situation.’
“For your dad to call your mama the c-word is not normal. I have all girls, and they’re all seeing this and hearing this. Yet I still couldn’t walk away because I didn’t want to uproot my kid’s lives. So, he fell in love with someone else and filed for divorce. I was so happy. Yes, my ego was bruised, but I’m so glad I am out of that situation.”
After taking some time to focus on herself and her mental health, Burns-Sperling is thriving. Not only does she still tour with J.J. Fad, she’s also maintaining her career as a nurse and coaching one of her daughter’s cheer teams while embracing her new role as a domestic violence victim advocate and mental health awareness coach.
“I’m keeping myself busy and all of that is so good for my mental health,” she says. “I’m establishing relationships with people that I have kind of put to their side because I just didn’t have time. Chuck D and I have ran an event together and spent some time together. I was able to call Dr. Dre recently. I’m taking all the steps to better myself.”
Burns-Sperling is currently accepting offers for speaking engagements and offering guidance and counseling on developing greater self-awareness, implementing tools to better manage their lives and pursuing specific mental health goals. In June, she was a featured panelist at the RAP 4 PEACE: A Hip-Hop Gun Violence Awareness Conference and Gala in Santa Monica alongside Chuck D. She hopes by telling her story, she’ll inspire others to come forward and get the support they truly deserve.
Find her website here.
